Wash this scum off the streets

Whores, skunk pussies, buggers, queens, fairies, dopers, junkies. Sick, venal. Someday a real rain will come and wash this scum off the streets.

Well, Helsinki is not New York in the seventies. There are no prostitues in the streets, hardly any beggars and drug dealers are not easily seen. Apart of the casual alcoholic sitting (or lying) at the bus stop, there are not many people disturbing the peace of the city center. At least not during the day, before the night owls and other party animals come out.

In the calm and unstained city, security guards might certainly feel bored quite often, so whenever a weirdo is around, they probably think they need to act and so something. Yesterday I was working with my laptop at the entrance of the Kirjasto 10 branch of the Helsinki City Library, inside of the Postitalo building. Just a regular summer day, with some people around reading newspaper or browing the Internet on the public computers. In front of me, there was a young woman with a bunch of suitcases, which is not a very unsual sight. It looked like she was waiting for someone, perhaps a friend borrowing a book from the library or sending some letters from the nearby post office. This young lady was decently dress and apparently dirt-free, far from looking like a homeless since the suitcases looked to be fairly new. There was nothing strange about her, but the fact that she was about to fell asleep and that she seemed to be mentally disabled.

Nothing wrong was happening, actually, nothing was happening, but those bored security guards thought otherwise. The woman was an unpleasent presence in the room. A meaty and tall security guard approached the dozing woman and politely asked her to leave the building. The woman tried to ignore the petition, but after a second request she silently took her suitcases and allowed to be escorted to the exit giving in to the guard’s wishes.

I inmediately thought it was an akward situation. The woman was not bothering at all as there was nobody else there but me. That area of Postitalo is just a hall with some benches and tables by the elevators, between the library, the post office and a cafeteria. Still, I wonder why the woman was not allow to be there. Maybe I would have been kicked out too if I would have been napping for a moment.

I felt sorry for the young woman.

Guess what? Finland is very expensive

This is something that anyone spending a little time in Finland will soon notice as his shopping basket will take a significant bigger chunk of his budget. Prices in Finland are high and as a matter of fact, consumer prices in Finland rank third in the European Union, according to the recent statistics offered by Eurostat. Only Denmark and Ireland are more expensive for consumers than Finland.

The statistic measures the price level for consumer goods and services, including clothing, food, alcoholic beverages, tobacco, restaurants, hotels and consumer electronics, among others. The result indicates that Finland is some 25% more expensive than the EU average and it is the most expensive country in clothing. Perhaps, this explains why Finns dress so modestly, the popularity of H&M and the second hand market with shops like UFF.

Alcoholic drinks, controlled by state-owned company Alko, and tobacco contribute to the high prices as they stand 37% more expensive than the average.

Where is Wimbledon?

Yesterday it was a chilly summer day so  I spent a lazy Sunday feeling and acting as perfect couch potato. I realized that Federer and Roddick were playing Wimbledon’s final and the game seemed to be tight, so I decided to watch the last set. I turned on the TV and wait a minute… there is no coverage of Wimbledon in Finnish television this year. I checked all the free channels and nothing, then I took the TV guide and look at the pay TV listings. Zero! The Wimbledon final was not broadcasted in Finland. There was instead a couple of documentaries on public channels, a singing contest, an American Idol special about Michael Jackson, a film starring Kirsten Dunst, and a harness racing competition, which happens to be a very popular sport in Finland.

That is a bit odd because it is a major sport events and last year’s semifinals and finals (men and women) were freely broadcasted by MTV3, one of the commercial channels, while the previous rounds could be seen in one of the pay channels. But this year, the only Wimbledon to be seen was on Saturday night, when MTV3 showed the 2004 British film Wimbledon, starring, again Kirsten Dunst. Was that a joke?

Federer’s victory was tough and lengthy yesterday and the last set’s score was 14-16 lasting more than 90 minutes. I cannot help wondering if Finnish television would have dared to broadcast the whole match. A couple of weeks ago, public broadcaster YLE show FIFA Confederations Cup. Every minute of every match was supposed to be aired live from South Africa. But everything was too much and YLE chopped the match for third place between South Africa and Spain. The game went to extra time, but someone at YLE decided that the match was not important enough and stop the live coverage right before the extra time and continue with the regular programming. After 90 minutes of the dullest football ever seen, it was not possible to see in Finland how the match ended. I still wonder why.

The mute telemarketer

Personal data is not very private in Finland and many registries and databases are publicly available. Consequently, many companies take advantage and kick off telemarketing campaigns. The most usual calls are from sellers offering magazine subscriptions or from the mobile phone operators in search of new customers from other companies. These calls are frequent and I receive once a month at least. Or if the telemarketing company messes with the database several call might arrive in one day. Recently, I received three calls in one day from mobile operator Sonera, but the funny thing is that I am already a Sonera customer.

This situation is very common in many other countries, but being a foreigner in Finland and not being able to speak very good Finnish, the situation gets interesting. Naturally, telemarketers expect that the person answering the call speaks Finnish, so when that it is not the case, a sudden fear invades the telemarketers. Their voices tremble, their body shakes and I bet drops of sweat run down their backs. It is an odd reaction because most of the Finns have an acceptable English level and should be able to keep a simple conversation. They are embarrassed of being caught unprepared for a conversation in English and Finns cannot handle an embarrassing situation, they are really bad at that. They panic and the Finnish shyness is demonstrated. Better off dead than shame.

“This guy does not speak Finnish! What to do now?”, telemarketers need to think quick fast. When facing the troubling question “Excuse me, could you please speak English?”, after a few seconds of silence, many take a very easy decision and they just hang up without saying a word, not even in Finnish, as they hide under the desk. The communication cuts off. Sometimes the caller has previously explain where he or she is calling from, and if one understands a bit of Finnish, it might be possible to realize that the call is not important. But other times, if English is introduced in the conversation early enough, you might be left with the disturbing feeling of not knowing who is trying to reach you.

Some other times, the telemarketer is not that rude and, after laughing nervously,  he or she might replied, with a great English pronunciation, that sorry, but no English is spoken. On those situations, I wonder why they would not make the effort of explaining what the call is about. It’s not in the script, I suppose. If the call is important enough, the caller might say that an English speaking person will call again later, although you never know if that will happen (and usually doesn’t).

Nowadays my Finnish has improved enough to understand what the call is about, so when I don’t need any new magazine, mobile phone or I just don’t want to be bothered, I only need to say the magic words: “Could you please speak English?”.

Finland, Finland, Finland

Finland is a beautiful country, where the grass is green and the girls are pretty, where the people wash in saunas. The land of hundreds of thousands of lakes and islands. The welfare state assists the citizens in times of sorrow. The kids are smart and top the education rankings. A global corporation connects the world through mobile phones and hundreds of technological wizards come up with state-of-the-art inventions. A country where heavy metal reigns and a drunken formula driver wins the championship. Home of Joulupukki, Father Christmas, Santa Claus, Papá Noel and his army of reindeers commanded by the red-nosed one.

This is Finland, Finland, Finland and nobody said it better than Monty Python.

But Finland can be tough with its freezing winters and habitants, living the endless nights and nightless days. Pale, blond indigenous people who suffer extremely taxed alcoholic drinks and vehicles. A fertile land where a few companies make millions with monopolistic practices. Finland has a dark side, Finland is ugly, Finland can and does suck.